Forgetting Freedom out of Fear

I question Ev-er-y-thing... Just ask my sisters or any teacher I've ever had.

I thirst for knowledge, and to know what will happen next.  
In fact, sometimes I find myself fearing the unknown.

Do I really trust God with my future?  

Time and time again, Daddy God's plan has trumped my own.  Head knowledge tells me that His plans, not my own, should be where I place my hope and my future.  

But..... sometimes I feel like the Israelites.

Scholars can debate about it all day but, the Israelites were slaves in Egypt for at least 200 years, living there for over 400.  When Moses and Aaron came to Pharaoh to deliver the "Let my people go" message from God, one of the first things Pharaoh did was require them to make the same progress in their work without providing one of the major ingredients -- the straw for the bricks. (Exodus 5) Clearly this is not a situation you want to work under, right?  Back-breaking work, unrealistic expectations... and oh yeah.... let's kill your babies too so you don't raise up and take over our kingdom.

Now, fast forward through the plagues and the passover where the firstborn died in every house that wasn't marked as the Lord had commanded.  With the death of his son, Pharaoh finally comes to a place where he is willing to let the Israelites go, and they book it out of there.  God leads them day and night and when it looks like they are going to be trapped by a major waterway, He gives Moses the power to part the sea so they can walk straight across, but the Egyptians are wiped out when the waters are released. (Exodus 14)

Now, when the Israelites felt trapped at the edge of the water, they said to Moses "Was it because there were no graves in Egypt that you brought us to the desert to die? What have you done to us by bringing us out of Egypt?  Didn't we say to you in Egypt, 'Leave us alone; let us serve the Egyptians'? It would have been better for us to serve the Egyptians than to die in the desert!" (Exodus 14: 11-12) 

God provided a way when when they doubted if freedom had been the right choice.

As the saying goes, hindsight is 20/20.  Clearly God was watching out for His chosen people.  How quickly though do we forget this truth?

In Exodus 16, the story continues:

 The whole Israelite community set out from Elim and came to the Desert of Sin, which is between Elim and Sinai, on the fifteenth day of the second month after they had come out of Egypt.  In the desert the whole community grumbled against Moses and Aaron.  The Israelites said to them, "If only we had died by the LORD's hand in Egypt! There we sat around pots of meat and ate all the food we wanted, but you have brought us out into this desert to starve this entire assembly to death."

As I read these passages yesterday,  I was so disappointed in the Israelites.  Only 5 or 6 weeks earlier, God had shown up in a HUGE way.  He had pulled them out of slavery, parted the sea so they could walk across dry ground, and in Exodus 15, He provided the needed water and shade in the desert.  When we read here, it's so clear God's got their back, and yet they want to go back to slavery, picking the known pain over the unknown plans in the hands of Daddy God.

How often is that me, playing the scared Israelite who would rather be enslaved than walk in freedom and protection into the unknown?

 

This next week, I challenge you to consider these thoughts with me:

- Do I REALLY trust God?

- In what areas of my life am I choosing stability over walking in faith?

- What "chains" do I need to stop running back to because God's got better?

- How is the Holy Spirit leading me to move?

Be Bold. Be Courage. Be All In. <3

God's Will

Psalm 18

⁶ In my distress I called to the Lord;
I cried to my God for help.
From his temple he heard my voice;
my cry came before him, into his ears.
⁷ The earth trembled and quaked,
and the foundations of the mountains shook;
they trembled because he was angry.
⁸ Smoke rose from his nostrils;
consuming fire came from his mouth,
burning coals blazed out of it.
⁹ He parted the heavens and came down;
dark clouds were under his feet.
¹⁰ He mounted the cherubim and flew;
he soared on the wings of the wind.
¹¹ He made darkness his covering, his canopy around him—
the dark rain clouds of the sky.
¹² Out of the brightness of his presence clouds advanced,
with hailstones and bolts of lightning.
¹³ The Lord thundered from heaven;
the voice of the Most High resounded.^[d]
14 He shot his arrows and scattered the enemy,
with great bolts of lightning he routed them.
¹⁵ The valleys of the sea were exposed
and the foundations of the earth laid bare
at your rebuke, Lord,
at the blast of breath from your nostrils.

¹⁶ He reached down from on high and took hold of me;
he drew me out of deep waters.
¹⁷ He rescued me from my powerful enemy,
from my foes, who were too strong for me.
¹⁸ They confronted me in the day of my disaster,
but the Lord was my support.
¹⁹ He brought me out into a spacious place;
he rescued me because he delighted in me. 

For weeks now, I have been camping out in Psalm 18, because it just blows my mind.  This image of how much God cares about his children is overwhelming.  Over and over, this passage has brought me to my knees, unable to stand because He loves me so much!

In the past, when I've been hurt, I've had this image of a stand-off God; one that knows what's going on but doesn't seem to do anything.  I know that this comes from years of waiting for God to do what I wanted him to do.  It wasn't until recently that I finally started to grasp at the idea of God's Will.  God's Will isn't God carrying out my plans.  It's a much greater plan that I could even fathom. 

Kelly <3

When my best friend died 3 years ago, I hit an all-time low.  I went crazy with my "whys" because I just couldn't grasp why God would take her from me.  I felt alone in crowded rooms, overwhelmed with pain & grief, and angry beyond comparison at the people who seemed to be moving on while I refused to move the roots that I'd buried in the land of hurt and depression.  I tried to run from God, deny His existence, and hurt Him by hurting myself and those around me with my decisions.

In the back of my mind though, I'd tell myself that "if I just knew why....", I would be able to move on.  Honestly though, there is no way I will truly ever understand why my Kell Bell isn't meeting me for a movie at the drive in, going on road trips and getting tanned while I burn this summer.  As smart as I'd like to think I am, I will never be able to understand.  I can't understand God's plan.  I can't understand what has happened, what is happening or what is going to happen.  Even if He came down from heaven tonight and whispered in my ear his plans, I could not comprehend them BECAUSE I AM NOT GOD.

See, the major difference between God's will and my will is the word in front of will.  If we could fully understand God though, what would be the point in following him? People do not follow those who know the exact same things as them. There would be no reason to seek out a God if we ourselves knew enough to be considered on an equal playing field as God. 

In Ephesians 3, Paul prayed saying "May you experience the love of Christ, though it is too great to understand fully. Then you will be made complete with all the fullness of life and power that comes from God" (verse 19).  Paul knew that these people, like me, would never fully understand God, but that we would be able to experience glimpses into His love for us.  It's those glimpses of his love that remind me to fight when I am having a bad day because I have a purpose.  It's God's will for me to be here 'til He calls me home.

Yes, I am ready to go to heaven.  I long to be home with God someday, in a place where I know I will finally feel like I belong, but it's not my time yet.  God has a plan, and a perfect plan at that for my life.  I don't know what it is, where it will take me or when I'll see the next move I'm supposed to take, but I do know that I want to walk in His will.  I want to be bold.  I want to risk it all and loose it all for a purpose far greater than anything I could cook up on my own. 

Daddy God, I want to be used for your will and your plans for your kingdom.

Commission My Sould O Lord and give me my purpose in Your will.