Distracting from the Meaningless

On Fridays, I go to a little local treasure for breakfast.  Because my regular booth-mates were gone, I decided to use it as my quiet time and just hang out with Daddy God.

I sat there, with my name on my cup, and indulged in my weekly cinnamon roll.  Like always, it didn't disappoint.

But this was a special day.  It was D-day, June 6th, and the day I would hear about if I got my dream job or not.  I needed God to calm my soul and give me peace.

So I started prayer journaling.....

Enter into the gates with praise and thanksgiving (Psalms 100:4)  I know God hears me no matter what words I use, but I think this attitude of thanksgiving helps me to be receptive so I always start out with the "goods"

Daddy God, 

Thank you for this day.  Thank you for this place, a place to belong every Friday morning.  Thank you for the opportunity to wake up early and have another day to walk these beautiful streets, to take in the smells of the kitchen and the kindness in my servers smile.  Thank you for the opportunity to interview this week.....

And then I heard her...

"I have money.  Can you help me? I got hurt running away from a bad man and the police arrested me!  They stole my stuff."

I couldn't help but notice that they were bringing her back to the booth RIGHT behind me.  She was loud.  She was blunt. She wanted everyone to pay attention to her.

And I wanted to ignore her.  

I liked my comfortable bubble.

I had come to my normal spot to enjoy the quiet, calm, early morning atmosphere, surrounded by my tea, roll, bible, and journal.  This lady was ruining it.

I tried to go back to my journal, but she was so distracting.  

.....Thank you for the opportunity to interview this week.  Thank you for having a plan for me.  But Jesus, if this isn't part of it, don't let them offer this job to me, because I want to take it.

"What's that girl doing? Girl, what are you doing"

I tried so hard to ignore her, but she was making me upset.  I needed time with God and she was butting in.  I felt like a jealous older sibling who had to share a parent with the new baby.  I didn't want to share this time with this stranger, so I continued to ignore her.

I looked back at my journal

"The cab driver gave me this.  He was so sweet.  He told me to go get breakfast but I didn't know if I could come in here.  I was at the hospital long enough.  They could have let me take a shower," she told the server (and everyone else in that end of the restaurant).

Ug...... I just couldn't focus.  She was SO LOUD.

God, help me to focus.  

Help me to be able to spend this time with you.  

Help me to block out this distraction behind me.

And then it hit me like a bus.  I was praying the wrong thing.

Daddy God, change my heart for this woman.

And I picked up my bible, flipping through the well worn pages to find the right verse.  I needed something about compassion.  As I searched my highlighted bits and notes throughout the well worn book, I couldn't find what I was looking for.  Another local, turned to me and asked what I was reading.  I smiled politely and said, "my bible"

"Oh.  You're reading that.  Can you pick something from it and write it down for me?"

YES! This lady wanted something from Jesus!  I could help with this this!

I turned back to my bible and looked through a few verses, trying to decide which one to write down for her, but I couldn't decide.  Then it hit me.

"Can I pray with you?"

Yes, she was finally getting the attention she wanted as I moved over into her booth and held her hands.  I asked her what she wanted prayer for.

For the next hour, she told me her story.

Her name was Karen Swett.

She had nothing left to her name but her fake smile and the few things that hadn't been stolen from her yet that sat beside her in plastic sacks.

She had hurt her knee running from a man trying to assault her and been taken in by the police.

She'd had 12 babies, of which only two had lived and both of them had been taken away from her.

She had struggled with drug addictions.

She had no home, no family, no money and no hope.

She was bitter and angry.

She cried.

She cussed.

She was so hurt.

So we prayed.  And then I felt like I had to give her my bible.

But I really didn't want to. I know it sounds petty but... 

It had been around the world with me, twice.

It was mine.

It was even my favorite color.

I was attached to it.

I had highlighted, written notes, and dog eared pages.  

I would have to start over.

But then I looked at her.

"Here, this is for you.  I can't choose what to write down for you because it's all good.  I've marked it up over the past couple years so that should help you find what you're looking for."

She just stared at me with her mouth open and started crying again.  Before she would let me go, she asked me to write a message in it and kissed my hand, and then apologized for being dirty.  I ran my hand over her hair and told her not to apologize for showing me love....and then I left.

It's been two weeks since that day, and I've thought of her every day since.  I pray for her because of where she was at.  I pray that she will open up that bible and not just pitch it in the trash.  

And I thank Daddy God.  

I thank Him for using her to bring me out of the comfort zone I'd settled into.  Sometimes as Christians, we get so caught up in being "good Christians" (saying nice things, reading our bibles, etc.) , that we forgot to be like Jesus.  I was getting annoyed at this "distraction" when in reality my selfishness was distracting me from what was really important.  I was being so selfish, with my time, and then with my bible, that I almost missed a chance to love on someone who really needed it. 

Thank you for the gentle reminder of why I'm here, Daddy God. <3

Please keep Karen in your prayers.

The Heart of the Pie

I bake.

OKAY....I bake a lot.

For example, in the span of a week, I baked three different types of pie and played around with a coffee cake recipe.

(Lucky for me, I've been able to round up several willing taste-testers to help me share in the calories.)

But I don't just bake because I like food...
or because I have a stunning kitchen that I can't stand to let sit there by its lonesome.

There is a list catalysts for my baking sprees but most importantly, I bake because it helps me connect to God.  In particular, it makes me feel close to his "Creator" characteristic because when I bake, I don't follow directions. I take them to be more like guidelines and use my creativity to pull together finished products.

And as I pull together my creations, I imagine Him building His.

His soft yet strong hands pulling what He needs out of thin air.  Starting from NOTHING, He creates something beautiful.... LIFE.

As I close my eyes, I can see him begin.

From nothing, I imagine a ball of matter just appearing upon His command.  Then He gently pulls out the hands and feet, creating arms for hugging and legs He will instruct where to go. 

Next He molds up a head and carves out the intricate features to grace the face; the shape of the nose, the curve of the lips, the purposefully uneven ear placement.  Each movement makes this one unique even though He's done this millions of times.  He takes his time though, placing the roots of the hair into the scalp, keeping track of their number and giving them each a unique color.  He opens the eyelids and places the sparkle in it that will light up when she's really happy.

Then He moves to the heart, placing desires deep within.  He gives her the desire to grow things, to capture beauty, to travel, to care for kiddos, to explore, to sing, and to love on others.  With the snap of His fingers, He commands the creation of the organs and quickly connects the billions of neurons throughout the body.  He places instructions for the future in the DNA and in less than a moment, the most complex system we know, is put into motion.

Now I know my creations in the kitchen aren't THAT great, but I can make some mean sweet potato pie.

And as I pull my products out of the oven to admire them, I imagine God looking at His new creation, with that proud father smile and whispering "It is good."

Thank you Daddy God for these glimpses of your character <3

"Worthy are You, our Lord and our God, to receive glory and honor and power; for You created all things, and because of Your will they existed, and were created." -Romans 4:11