Feasting on the Fast

 So today’s task for the Boundless Summer Challenge was to listen to an online message about fasting and then fast….

Unfortunately for me, I didn’t check the message until after lunch.  Immediately, I was a little disappointed.  As some of you may know, I am already fasting sugar/sweets, breads and pastas.  I am doing this fast because I know that these are the things that I turn to and indulge in instead of turning to God.  After reading the message, my first instinct was “well… I better go eat some food before I stop eating,” and I know this is the wrong way of thinking about fasting because I have fasted before.  Admittedly, I did snack this afternoon as a “build up” for fasting but more because I was bored than because I was hungry.  When I got home though, I decided that I would continue my fast through tomorrow because I had cheated God and myself out of spending time together, without food covering up issues that needed to be brought to the surface.

After making this decision, I figured I should listen to the message about fasting.  Although I doubted that I would hear anything I hadn’t already heard, I thought it would be important to be faithful to the commitment to complete this challenge without cheating.  Oh God, you are so good! Thank you for providing such a wonderful message.

Today’s message was a sermon by John Piper titled “Man Shall Not Live on Bread Alone”…. And I needed to hear it!

Matthew 3:16 through 4:4

As soon as Jesus was baptized, he went up out of the water. At that moment heaven was opened, and he saw the Spirit of God descending like a dove and alighting on him.  And a voice from heaven said, “This is my Son, whom I love; with him I am well pleased.”

Then Jesus was led by the Spirit into the wilderness to be tempted by the devil.  After fasting forty days and forty nights, he was hungry. The tempter came to him and said, “If you are the Son of God, tell these stones to become bread.”

 Jesus answered, “It is written: ‘Man shall not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God.’”

When looking at this passage, John Piper (J.P.) started off with the point that physically painful situations (like extended fasting) are not punishments from God because he is displeased with us. We know this because a voice from heaven came down to Jesus and said “This is my Son, whom I love; with him I am well pleased,” and then the Spirit lead him into the wilderness to be tested.  God was not mad at Jesus.  He is also calling me to fast because he delights in me and wants to grow closer with me, not because he is mad at me.  This is important for me to remember because I yearn to approach fasting with a joyful heart.

Next, J.P. talked about the how important it is to fast because fasting teaches us what controls us.  In my own life, I have used food to cover up a multitude of internal problems.  I have turned to food for comfort when I’m hurting, to reward/motivate myself, to relive my favorite memories, to rebel, and just as today, when I’m bored as a time filler.  Fasting however brings up the question “what do I do with my dissatisfaction when I don’t have supper to look forward to?”  At times when we are fasting, we become angry but not because the hunger is truly unbearable.  No, we become angry because there is a angry spirit within us that without food, is revealed.  I have seen this in my own life as I was fasting in New Zealand.  It was super powerful!

Throughout the bible, fasting can be seen as a very powerful experience. In Psalm 35 David tells us that he humbled himself with fasting, showing yet another benefit of this “ancient practice”.  After Saul of Tarsus, a murderer of Christians, was confronted by God on the way to Damascus, he did not eat or drink anything for 3 days, fasting, as He tried to understand what had happened, searching to understand God. P.s. This guy became Paul, one of the 12.  Another example of fasting in the bible is Ester as she prepared to speak to save the lives of her people.  On the other hand, Jesus defended the disciples, saying they didn’t need to fast while the bride groom (Jesus) was with them, but after Jesus left, they fasted.

Turning back to Matthew 4 however, there is a lot to learn in just these few verses.  When Jesus is tested by the devil and he temps his to simply turn the rock into bread, Jesus quotes Deuteronomy 8.  Now, J.P brings up that there may be a very specific reason for quoting from Deuteronomy, because of the similarities between the situation as the people in Deuteronomy wandering around in the dessert as they wait to enter the promise land and Jesus’ situation as he is tested by the devil . 

Here are just a few of them:

- Both led into the wilderness by the Spirit

-Forty years in the wilderness – Forty days fasting in the wilderness

-Testing in Deuteronomy 8 = same Greek word as tempting in Matthew 4

-Both caused hunger

- Joshua led out of promise land= Jesus is the same Greek word as Joshua and both are leading to a promised land…. Jesus’ promise land is just forever.

(If you want to see these comparisons better, look at the notes or listen to the sermon here….. he does a much better job at explaining this than I have tonight)

J.P. Makes three other really important points that really stick out to me.

1. Fasting can be used to prepare for tests but fasting in itself is also a test.  When we succeed, it makes Satan mad; when we fail, God still loves us.

2.  The Devil tries to use a twisted view of God against us.  When the devil temps Jesus, he suggests that Jesus just turn the stone into bread.  This may be an example of the Devil playing on how God satisfied the hunger of his people wandering in the dessert with manna so it’s “okay” for Jesus to do this and not be cheating.  Jesus knows the reality of it all however and refuses to turn to anything but the Lord. Our thinking should not be “I’ll turn to manna instead of bread.” It should be “I turn to God, instead of Manna, instead of Bread.  (This brings up another issue of substituting one addiction for another…. )

3. God fed the hunger of his people with manna they did not know.  Often we doubt what God can do because we limit him with the things we think could fix the problem.  God has this “super power” however to satisfy our utmost being with things that we don’t know of or understand.  He is not limited by what we have in this world, our tools, our technologies, or our faith.  Also, Jesus said that that man does not live by bread alone but by everything that comes out of his mouth.  What comes out of God’s mouth?  Everything that is of God.

So tomorrow, I will be feasting on the fast with the Father…. With a joyful heart <3

Confession and Forgiveness

For today’s task, we were challenged to look at God’s Holiness with this as our guiding verse…..

Isaiah 6:1-5

Isaiah’s Commission

 ¹ In the year that King Uzziah died, I saw the Lord, high and exalted, seated on a throne; and the train of his robe filled the temple. ² Above him were seraphim, each with six wings: With two wings they covered their faces, with two they covered their feet, and with two they were flying. ³ And they were calling to one another:

   “Holy, holy, holy is the LORD Almighty;
   the whole earth is full of his glory.”

 ⁴ At the sound of their voices the doorposts and thresholds shook and the temple was filled with smoke.

 ⁵ “Woe to me!” I cried. “I am ruined! For I am a man of unclean lips, and I live among a people of unclean lips, and my eyes have seen the King, the LORD Almighty.”

Now if you’re like me, these words crushed me.  If someone like Isaiah felt unclean before God, how could I ever measure up to anything with my layers and layers of sins from the last 20 years?   The point of this task however, was not to condemn the sinner’s spirit as “all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God” (Romans 3:23).

 Instead, today provided me a chance to look at my life, recognize my sinfulness and confess these sins to Him.  Since being in New Zealand this last semester, I have worked to etch the words of Psalm 139:23-24 on my heart and make that my cry to the Lord.

“Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts.  See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting”

As I prayed this throughout the day, my faithful Father did just that; He searched my heart and revealed what seemed to be pages and pages of offensive ways in me.  As this task suggested, I wrote down these instances and feelings that I needed forgiveness for and one by one, I prayed through the short list.

 The coolest part of this task however, was after confessing the sins on these pieces of paper, and asking for forgiveness, I could throw them away.  Poof! They are gone.  God forgave me and I could feel the weight being lifted off my heart.  I no longer have to carry these sins around with me, weighing me down and dragging me through the dirt that makes me feel worthless and filthy.

Confession and forgiveness are necessary for my faith walk because without them, I feel so distant from God; I feel like Isaiah.  I am unworthy and He is Holy.  His Holiness has set Him apart from me but His grace has bridged the gap so I can be with Him.  In order to grow closer with God and have the deep, all-consuming relationship that I yearn to have, I have to see myself the way God sees me, not as the filth that I feel like when I fail to do what He wants me to do for my life.

On that note, I think it is important to hear the wonderful news from verses 6-8

 ⁶ Then one of the seraphim flew to me with a live coal in his hand, which he had taken with tongs from the altar. ⁷ With it he touched my mouth and said, “See, this has touched your lips; your guilt is taken away and your sin atoned for.”
 ⁸ Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying, “Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?”
   And I said, “Here am I. Send me!”


See!!!! So exciting! He forgives! And now I want to be sent out for Him. <3

Character of God

So..... I recently stated The Boundless Summer Challenge.  Each day, they post a task that will challenge the participants to dig deeper and grow, with a focus this summer on relationships.

Today's task:  Looking at the character of God

Isaiah 40:25 says.... “To whom will you compare me?   Or who is my equal?” says the Holy One. 

Now, instinctively when I close my eyes and think of God,  I see my Daddy as:

§  pure/unselfish love

§  strengh = massive arms, broad sholders, thick fingers, and massive feet in sandals popping out from under a blinding white robe

§  forgiveness - truly forgiving and FORGETING as my bloody hands are washed white and clean

§  singing over me with a voice more beautiful than Josh Groban, Charlotte Church, or Hayley Westenra

§  hugging me and lifting me up in his arms effortlessly, holding me close so I can feel his heart beating and his chest raising and falling as he breathes in and out, comforting me

§  cradling me in his wings and feeling completely safe as I sit  in the shadow of his wings

§  speaking softly, whispering that he loves me

§  shouting loudly that he loves me!

§  carrying me as I weep from pain

§  a jealous God who wants to be with me every second

§  unselfishness to the utmost degree (sending his son)

§  counting the number of hairs on my head

§  his hands crafting my body together like a potter working with clay and then smiling with delight at the finished product

§  holding back and throwing off the world when it gets to be too much............... like in this video!!! So Good!!!! ( http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U_M33GcJAmU  )

But God is so much more than that! Even after reading Isaiah 40:25, I can see how I envision God with all these humanly characteristics, putting in a box and placing limits on a limitless, boxless God! I mean in reality, God in all his Glory can't be contained in the universe that I can't fathom, let alone a gigantic box.

Although I don't fully (or even partially) understand all the characteristics of my amazing Father, today's task challenged me to look through Isaiah 40 for the characteristics of God that I've been missing/forgetting.

After several read-throughs, this is the list I got:

§  Comforter to all (v.1)

§  a tender voice (v.2)

§  gracious and giving (v.2)

§  forgiving (v.2)

§  one to be glorified by all things, including the land (v.5)

§  ultimate control (breath of God) (v.7)

§  Never ending wisdom (v.8)

§  Sovereign (v.10)

§  powerful, mighty arms (v. 10)

§  Sheppard to his flock (v.11)

§  carries  in his arms, close to his heart (v.11)

§  gentle leader (v.11)

§  creator and controller of everything in the world (v.12)

§  unfathomable (v.13)

§  unteachable (v. 14)

§  untaught, unenlightened genious beyond comparison (v. 14)

§  does not need us (v. 15-17)

§  incomparable (v. 18-20)

§  enthroned above the circle of earth (v. 22)

§  builder of the heavens (v.22)

§  the sower and the reaper (v. 24)

§  unforgetful, mighty and powerful (v. 26)

§  everlasting, creator of the ends of the earth (v.28)

§  one that does not grow weary or tired EVER (v. 28)

§  understanding beyond what we can fathom (v. 28)

§  giver of strength and power (v. 29)

§  renewer of strength (v. 31)

It's crazy how many times I have read this chapter and never noticed some of these characteristics.  Of the ones I listed, I think I often over look the bolded bullet points and as part of today’s task, I wanted to look at why.

First, God is in ultimate control.  Sometimes I try to take this control myself only to fall on my face and be picked back up in His loving arms and realize that He was in complete control the whole time.  Even when I made my list of how I saw God, I left out that He is, always has been and always will be in control, clearly showing how I often leave out this vital characteristic in my mind.

Next, verses 14-17 really just spoke to me about how truly all knowing God is.  There is nothing I can teach Him.  He simply IS the all-knowing teacher.  This is another point I forgot because I have been stubborn.  At times , I have convinced myself that God messed up and I need to teach Him how to do His job, or how life should really be going.  I have dishonored Him and judged His actions as wrong when I know nothing in comparison to Him.  I have believed that the “world revolves around me” when in reality, I am not even a “drop in the bucket” (BUT I am a loved not-even-a-drop-in-the-bucket!)  God does not NEED me, but he chose me anyways and He delights in me.

My Daddy is also incomparable.  Verses 18 through 20 clearly state that nothing can be compared to Him.  Idols, no matter their material or craftsmanship are nothing compared to God.  I often find myself forgetting this though.  No, I do not have a Baal statue in my house, but I have had idols.  I have “worshiped” the sound of my own voice when I should have been listening to God.  I have “worshiped” food, gorging myself with crap that will not fill me.  I have turned to people and activities instead of God because I somehow thought that my problems were too big (or too small) for Him in essence making these things the rulers of my life instead of God.  This is something I am not proud of and I suspect that is why I initially left this characteristic out of my list.

Isaiah 40 also talks about how God is the sower and the reaper.  While I often think of God as the creator, I tend to forget that He has control of every stage of this earth.  This goes back to the first point I talked about and how I try don’t always see God as having ultimate control. ( As this seems to be a reoccurring theme, I really need to work on this!)

In verse 26, it talks about how God calls out the stars in the sky, remembering them all.  That is because God is not forgetful.  I often find myself thinking that God must have somehow forgotten about me because I hurt but really, it is me that forgets.  How often have I received bad news and only after exhausting all the other options, finally turn to God in prayer when I should have turned to Him first?  Too many times to count.   I have forgotten His promises, I have forgotten my identity in Christ, I have forgotten to turn to Him, but my Daddy has never forgotten me.

Last of all, the bottom 4 verses truly reveal a part of God that I have overlooked.  In verse 28 it says He does not grow weary or tired.  In my mind however, I always picture God as a man, a person that needs a break, needs sleep, and a time to renew His strength, BUT HE DOESN’T!  He doesn’t miss anything.  Good, Bad, Ugly, Beautiful…. He sees it all.  His understanding is beyond what we can fathom and because of that, I think we often fall back to these human views of God because we lack this understanding.  We can’t see His plan.   Last of all, verses 29-31 talk about how God is a GIVER of strength and power.  After finally starting to understand how perfect and never-ending His strength is, THIS IS JUST AMAZING!   In order to give something, you must have it, so that means He’s giving His strength and His power. AMAZING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thank you God  for your strength “to soar on wings like eagles” even when I epically fail to remember where my strength comes from  <3  I love the pieces of you that I have begun to understand and I pray Lord that you would show me more of who you are so that I can be more like you in my relationships here on earth and grow in my relationship with you.