Selective Will

Today starts the 21 days of prayer and fasting with my church.

So I started it off with tea, prayer, worship and Andy Stanley.

And now I am scared because I am being challenged.  Again.

Andy Stanley has a way of speaking truth that always brings me to question what I'm doing, persuades me to move, and pushes me to grow.

In Matthew 6 and Luke 11, Jesus teaches his people how to pray.

He says....

This, then, is how you should pray:

Our Father in Heaven,
Hollowed be your name,
Your kingdom come,
Your will be done,
On earth as it is in heaven.
Give us today our daily bread.
And forgive us out debts,
as we also have forgiven our debtors.
And lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from the evil one.
 (  Matthew 6:9-11 NIV)

It's easy enough to say, and not a hard task to remember a few words, broken down in simple phrases that rhythmically flow together.

But it is a frightening and bold prayer.

Your will be done.

Your will when it's not easy.
Your will when it's not popular.
Your will when it's not what I have planned.
Your will.
Not mine.

How can this not challenge what I am doing?

As an American, I pride myself in freedom.
Freedom to control my own life.
I like control.

But here, Jesus is saying to pray

"God, I surrender that control so that your will can take over."

Sometimes I try to fool myself into making my plans God's will.

Here God.
Here's the two choice I have narrowed it down to.
Which one do you want me to do, you know, because you're in control?

Or how about this mental conversation;

Hey Daddy God.
I've looked at these choices and decided none of them are against you.  
Now I'm going to pick the one that I like best, the easiest one or the most popular one.

As much as I try to fool myself into thinking that is the way God's will works, it's really not.
And I KNOW that.

Check out the story about Ahab (King of Israel), Jehoshaphat (King of Judah) and Micaiah (a prophet) in 1 Kings 22.

Here's my abbreviated version.
Ahab wants to go to war and asks Jehoshaphat to come with him.
Jehoshaphat says, "did you consult God about this?"
Ahab then gathers together a group of 400 prophets and says "We should do this, right?"
Everyone in the group agrees that they should go to battle.
Jehoshaphat says, "Is there anyone else we should ask?"
Ahab admits there is this guy Micaiah, but this prophet never says what he wants him to so he wasn't invited.
A messenger goes and gets Micaiah.
Micaiah is told to say what Ahab wants him to so he does.
When Ahab tells Micaiah to speak the truth, he foretells the death of the king if he goes into battle.
The King gets mad and sends him to prison until he returns from battle.
Ahab goes to battle, disguised, and still dies, like Micaiah said he would.

Sound familiar?

We often ask people for advice when we know that they will agree with us.
We don't ask the people that will challenge us.

And I find that I do the same thing with God.
I give him options, but leave out options that I don't want.

And I know that's not trusting in God's will.
Daddy God isn't meant to be put in a box,
restricted (even only if it's in my mind)
 from His bigger and better plan.

So this is what I'm going to be working on.  And it's scary.

God's Will

Psalm 18

⁶ In my distress I called to the Lord;
I cried to my God for help.
From his temple he heard my voice;
my cry came before him, into his ears.
⁷ The earth trembled and quaked,
and the foundations of the mountains shook;
they trembled because he was angry.
⁸ Smoke rose from his nostrils;
consuming fire came from his mouth,
burning coals blazed out of it.
⁹ He parted the heavens and came down;
dark clouds were under his feet.
¹⁰ He mounted the cherubim and flew;
he soared on the wings of the wind.
¹¹ He made darkness his covering, his canopy around him—
the dark rain clouds of the sky.
¹² Out of the brightness of his presence clouds advanced,
with hailstones and bolts of lightning.
¹³ The Lord thundered from heaven;
the voice of the Most High resounded.^[d]
14 He shot his arrows and scattered the enemy,
with great bolts of lightning he routed them.
¹⁵ The valleys of the sea were exposed
and the foundations of the earth laid bare
at your rebuke, Lord,
at the blast of breath from your nostrils.

¹⁶ He reached down from on high and took hold of me;
he drew me out of deep waters.
¹⁷ He rescued me from my powerful enemy,
from my foes, who were too strong for me.
¹⁸ They confronted me in the day of my disaster,
but the Lord was my support.
¹⁹ He brought me out into a spacious place;
he rescued me because he delighted in me. 

For weeks now, I have been camping out in Psalm 18, because it just blows my mind.  This image of how much God cares about his children is overwhelming.  Over and over, this passage has brought me to my knees, unable to stand because He loves me so much!

In the past, when I've been hurt, I've had this image of a stand-off God; one that knows what's going on but doesn't seem to do anything.  I know that this comes from years of waiting for God to do what I wanted him to do.  It wasn't until recently that I finally started to grasp at the idea of God's Will.  God's Will isn't God carrying out my plans.  It's a much greater plan that I could even fathom. 

Kelly <3

When my best friend died 3 years ago, I hit an all-time low.  I went crazy with my "whys" because I just couldn't grasp why God would take her from me.  I felt alone in crowded rooms, overwhelmed with pain & grief, and angry beyond comparison at the people who seemed to be moving on while I refused to move the roots that I'd buried in the land of hurt and depression.  I tried to run from God, deny His existence, and hurt Him by hurting myself and those around me with my decisions.

In the back of my mind though, I'd tell myself that "if I just knew why....", I would be able to move on.  Honestly though, there is no way I will truly ever understand why my Kell Bell isn't meeting me for a movie at the drive in, going on road trips and getting tanned while I burn this summer.  As smart as I'd like to think I am, I will never be able to understand.  I can't understand God's plan.  I can't understand what has happened, what is happening or what is going to happen.  Even if He came down from heaven tonight and whispered in my ear his plans, I could not comprehend them BECAUSE I AM NOT GOD.

See, the major difference between God's will and my will is the word in front of will.  If we could fully understand God though, what would be the point in following him? People do not follow those who know the exact same things as them. There would be no reason to seek out a God if we ourselves knew enough to be considered on an equal playing field as God. 

In Ephesians 3, Paul prayed saying "May you experience the love of Christ, though it is too great to understand fully. Then you will be made complete with all the fullness of life and power that comes from God" (verse 19).  Paul knew that these people, like me, would never fully understand God, but that we would be able to experience glimpses into His love for us.  It's those glimpses of his love that remind me to fight when I am having a bad day because I have a purpose.  It's God's will for me to be here 'til He calls me home.

Yes, I am ready to go to heaven.  I long to be home with God someday, in a place where I know I will finally feel like I belong, but it's not my time yet.  God has a plan, and a perfect plan at that for my life.  I don't know what it is, where it will take me or when I'll see the next move I'm supposed to take, but I do know that I want to walk in His will.  I want to be bold.  I want to risk it all and loose it all for a purpose far greater than anything I could cook up on my own. 

Daddy God, I want to be used for your will and your plans for your kingdom.

Commission My Sould O Lord and give me my purpose in Your will.