Life Unscarred

To love at all is to be vulnerable.

Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly be broken.

If you want to make sure of keeping it intact,
you must give your heart to no one,
 not even to an animal.

Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries;
 avoid all entanglements;
lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness.

But in that casket - safe, dark, motionless, airless - it will change.
It will not be broken;

it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable.

The alternative to tragedy, or at least to the risk of tragedy, is damnation.

The only place outside Heaven where you can be perfectly safe from all the dangers and perturbations of love is Hell.

-C.S. Lewis, The Four Loves

A Lonely Faith

I grew up in a "Christian Town". 

There are over a half dozen churches for a population of under 600 people. 
We still have "Christmas Break" not Winter break or Holiday break.
The local stores are closed on Sundays. 
We have baccalaureate services in the school and two church dinners for the graduating seniors.
We say God Bless and Praying for you without thinking that someone may be offended by it.

I have never felt like I've been looked down on because of my faith when I am at home.

Yes, I know that there are people in my hometown that don't believe in Daddy God, but I don't remember ever feeling like I was the only Christian around.  I continued to feel connected when I went to college, and as I've traveled in N. Ireland, England, New Zealand and even in Japan.

But not now.

Norway, this truly wonderful place that I DO love is.....................a word that I can not come up with.  (The lack of the right English word seems to be fairly common these days.)

With a national church, singing prayers in the elementary school, and a "socially mandatory" tradition of 15 year olds going through confirmation, Norway appears, and most Norwegians would say that it is, a Christian nation and yet, I have found it hard to find people that believe that God exists; and even harder to find someone who believes He is the God with the character that I have come to know.

And this is really hard for me.

My friend was writing a paper about heaven and hell and mentioned that it would be crazy if someone actually believed in hell.  She was fascinated when I told her that I did, and I was shocked when she told me I was the first person she'd met that does.  She went on to explain that the practice of confirmation is a "right of passage" here, not a public display of faith.

At 15 years of age, the majority of the Norwegian population is "confirmed".  While my friend went through the "Human-Etisk Forbund", the secular alternative, the majority of students still choose confirmation in the church because of tradition.  Whether it is their own desire to continue the tradition or pressure from those closest to them, the decision to be confirmed doesn't appear to be linked to a belief in Christ at all.

And one woman described the national church to me as a security blanket.  Part of the tax revenue goes to the churches but even the people who don't believe in God don't tend to complain about it.  People can only be buried at the church and the priest will come if there is anything wrong so you know you're not alone.  This makes the Church look like a safe place but not because the church family or a loving Daddy God, but because of the structure and regulations that surround it.  As a firm believer that the church is the body not the building, this idea baffles me.

So I struggle to fit in here. 

Maybe it's part of the Norwegian culture that has kept me from meeting more Christians.  It's not common for them to open up about what they believe or to talk about God.  In fact, it's not really common to talk or even smile at people that you don't know..... which I have also struggled with.  But here I feel lonely.

So although I love parts of this culture like the strong family bonds, and the "outdoors-y" attitude that seems to be ingrained in every person I meet, I think I would have a really hard time living here full time/long term. 

But maybe that's why I am supposed to be here in this season.
- to show that love
- to learn how it feels when to be physically apart from a community of faith
- to be reminded that I am not in control
- to struggle and wrestle with things that will force me to grow


I don't know His plans, but I know He's got plans <3

Traveling Takes Me Back

A few years ago now, I went to New Zealand and it changed my life drastically.  It changed the way I treated those I loved, those I didn't love and myself.  And all of this happened because I discovered how much I was/am/always will be loved by the Father.  Looking back now, I know that's one of the reasons why I will always love New Zealand to bits, because aside from the welcoming community and the gorgeous countryside,  it really did shape my identity. 

Now, after being back two years, the freshness of that revelation has been hidden not because it is any less true, but because like precious silver, if not polished, it will begin to look tarnished. 

But traveling always helps me remember how big God really is.

His fingerprints are everywhere.

For by him all things were created, in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or dominions or rulers or authorities—all things were created through him and for him.
- Colossians 1:16

In the relationships around me.

In the English countryside.

In the beauty of the sunrises and sunsets.

In my quiet times when I find a gem that speaks to my heart.

In the voice on the radio.

In my conversations with people about what I believe.

Yes, traveling takes me out of my comfort zone.  It takes me out of my normal group of people and from the people who agree with me.

But traveling reminds me why I love Jesus.

I love Him not out of obligation or condemnation.  I love Him because I've realized I am loved.

I go to church not because I believe that it is a required step to get to heaven, but because I love the community and know accountability is key.

I choose to share about what I believe in not because I want to force it down anyone's throat but because I've seen peoples lives be rocked when they let Him in.

I love traveling because it reminds me how fast everything I know on this earth can be gone in the blink of an eye, because everything is temporary outside of heaven.

When nothing else is constant, always moving from place to place, Daddy God is.

The best place to find yourself in my opinion will always be where nobody knows your background.  At this point, you get to discover your deepest self. 
When you strip away your mistakes and accomplishments,
the labels and titles,
the treasures and the struggles,
there at the core,
that's Jesus. 

Created in his image, a snap shot of the characteristics of God is embedded in our innermost being. 

So today, I am thankful for being able to travel, to be able to step out of the routine and be reminded of how much I am loved with a deeper understanding of Daddy God.