All the Wrong Reasons

I struggle with working.

Growing up on a farm, I have been blessed with a good work ethic.  I know the importance of taking care of the critters regardless of the time of day, weather conditions, or other activities that beg for my attention.  It's something that has helped me secure countless jobs that in all honesty, I was not even qualified to apply for.  Being willing to work hard often trumps having previous knowledge or experience if you are teachable.  While I am grateful for this, I've found that it has helped to shape a false sense of self worth and a people pleasing mentality.

While on this exchange in Europe, time and time again I have found myself trying to "earn my keep".  Whenever I get to a new host family, I immediately want to help, which is great!  It allows me to be with the family and become like one of the children.  It also lets me experience "real life" instead of being like a guest.  Often, it is even something that I actually enjoy doing like splitting firewood, feeding the baby calves or baking bread for the family.

But, at times, I confuse the value of what I'm able to do to help out on the farm with my value as a person.

It isn't anything new though.  When I was helping with a small church my college town, I kept on taking on more and more responsibilities as they needed more help.  In response, I felt more valued the more I took on.  It wasn't until I took a step back, that I was able to see how wrong I was.

So what did I do?  I had to stop.

Stop volunteering.

Stop working so hard.

Stop trying to impress others.

Stop working for my worth.

I went from working with a church 8-10 hours a week to merely going to my new church's morning service and being part of the family....for almost 3 months. The enemy kept nagging at me with guilt, for not working hard enough and being lazy, but I knew it was what I needed to do to remember where my worth comes from.

 

Daddy God doesn't need me to work.  He doesn't need my intervention at all.  He can part might rivers, build mountains, program the neurological connections inside the human brain, paint the sky with a beautiful sunsets and still have time to listen to my prayers about the smallest things.  No, He doesn't need me.  But yet, He created me.

 

In a world that is constantly objectifying people on a daily basis, judging them on their ability to generate productivity, new ideas, and bottom-line results, it is easy to miss our own true value.

I might be wrong, but I think it's the root of addictions.  When we don't know how much we are valued and loved, we try whatever we can to find that temporary fix for that massive hole.

Recognition/Awards

Alcohol

Food

Drugs

Money

Sex

Working out

Self Mutilation

And the list goes on and on.....

So today, when I found myself working feverishly to try to "earn my keep", I had to take a step back and reset my thinking.

I am not working because it will make them love me.

I am working because I love the people that I'm helping.  I appreciate them taking me into their homes and letting me be a part of their families.  I want to show them love because I know love.  I want them to look at me and see Abba's love.

I have already been shown perfect love and even when I don't feel loved, I am being smothered with it.  I don't need anyone else to love me.  My Daddy God has never forgotten about me.  He loves me perfectly, constantly and forever more.

Someday, I will get to be in heaven with Him; I long for that day. But today, I love the one who loves me from this side of the heaven.  I love those who I have been blessed to be surrounded by, but I will not work to make them love me back.

 

Colossians 3

22 Slaves, obey your earthly masters in everything; and do it, not only when their eye is on you and to curry their favor, but with sincerity of heart and reverence for the Lord. 23 Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters, 24 since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving. 

 

Song of the Day: Identity - Kutless

 

 

GRACE UNPLUGGED

Shackled to Surrender

Age of the Kings - North Point Community Church

I love the messages at North Point Community Church, hence why I found myself listening to two of their online sermons today. If you want to check them out for yourself, you can find the sermon series "Age of Kings" here! Here's where my heart led after watching Part One - Resistance is Futile. (This was not the same direction Andy Stanley took, so feel free to check them both out!)

Every time I hear someone preach about the bible, I get more excited about it. I know that it's living and moving, but today I learned more about how powerful the history side of it can be. Andy Stanley explained that history buffs should love the bible, especially 1-2 Samuel, Kings and Chronicles. Call me slow, but I didn't realize that these three books were talking about the same time period through different perspectives. As Andy explained though, these 6 books tell the story of the Kings of Israel and provide insight into our own hearts.

In 1 Samuel, you start to see history unravel when the people of Israel go to Samuel, and ask for a king. Up until this point, they had no king ruling over all of Israel. They instead followed (or attempted to follow) the commandments and God was their king, but 8:4 says that the people same to Samuel and said "You are old, and your sons do not walk in your ways; now appoint a king to lead us, such as all the other nations have." This broke Samuel’s heart. Everybody else had a king, and they wanted to be like everybody else, even though they were favored.

So Samuel went to God and this is what he heard:

“Listen to all that the people are saying to you; it is not you they have rejected, but they have rejected me as their king. ⁸ As they have done from the day I brought them up out of Egypt until this day, forsaking me and serving other gods, so they are doing to you. ⁹ Now listen to them; but warn them solemnly and let them know what the king who will reign over them will claim as his rights.”
(1 Samuel 8:7-9)

When he went back to the group and told them

“This is what the king who will reign over you will claim as his rights: He will take your sons and make them serve with his chariots and horses, and they will run in front of his chariots. ¹² Some he will assign to be commanders of thousands and commanders of fifties, and others to plow his ground and reap his harvest, and still others to make weapons of war and equipment for his chariots. ¹³ He will take your daughters to be perfumers and cooks and bakers. ¹⁴ He will take the best of your fields and vineyards and olive groves and give them to his attendants. ¹⁵ He will take a tenth of your grain and of your vintage and give it to his officials and attendants. ¹⁶ Your male and female servants and the best of your cattle and donkeys he will take for his own use. ¹⁷ He will take a tenth of your flocks, and you yourselves will become his slaves. ¹⁸ When that day comes, you will cry out for relief from the king you have chosen, but the Lord will not answer you in that day.”
(1 Samuel 8:11-18)

Wow. Why would anyone choose to be ruled by a dictator? Especially those who had been ruled before. These were the decedents of the people that had been led out of Egypt and slavery under pharaoh, and yet, they wanted a human king to rule over them.

¹⁹ But the people refused to listen to Samuel. “No!” they said. “We want a king over us. ²⁰ Then we will be like all the other nations, with a king to lead us and to go out before us and fight our battles.” ²¹ When Samuel heard all that the people said, he repeated it before the Lord. ²² The Lord answered, “Listen to them and give them a king.”
(1 Samuel 8:19-22)

Looking back now, it's easy to say "Wow. That was a dumb move." Why would anyone ever want to make an imperfect man king?... especially when they have a perfect God who knows them so deeply that they can't understand the lengths He's willing to go to in order to bring the best to His children who desires to be the king of their lives? Yes, Samuel anointed Saul as king and the chain of command was passed down from Saul to David to Solomon and without them we would not have Psalms, Proverbs and The Song of Songs, but each of these men fell short of the glory of God because they were human. After the reign of Solomon, the kingdom split and continued to crumble.

But isn't this an example of what we're doing right now?

Think about what your heart. Where do you spend your time, your talent and your treasures? If your heart is the "wellspring of life" (Proverbs 4:23), where you place your heart matters. Who you let rule over your life makes a huge difference in the course of your life. Samuel tried to warn the people that they would become slaves to this king, but they didn't care. They just wanted to be like everybody else.

When you give someone the power to be king, you give up that power over your life, a power that humans will eventually abuse and misuse. When you give in to an addiction like alcohol, food, porn, drugs, body image, relationships, power, popularity, money, etc. you lose control and become a slave to that object/activity whether you notice it or not. You serve that "thing" instead of God because you cannot serve two masters (Matthew 6:24).

But serving God is different than serving anything else. Serving God is choosing the light yoke, a yoke that He bears the weight in and you get to learn from the big guy that already knows everything (pretty cool huh?). Serving God is freedom. You get to lose the chains of sin and death when you are clothed with righteousness that comes from just accepting a gift that is completely free to you but came at such a high price. You get to lose the burden of working out your salvation because God has done that for you. No matter what you do, God could never love you more, and No matter what you have done, are doing and will do, God will NEVER love you less.

God created us to want to follow; that's why so many people look to others to show them what to do. In the bible, we are referred to as sheep, something that I've never really liked because of one bad lamb experience many years ago, but something I've learned to take pride in lately because I am loved by my king, my shepherd.

I belong to him ...." the One who created me. The One who loves me. The One who died for me. He will never lead me off a cliff or feed me to the wolves who stand back and wait for the moment I step out of the herd. No, they cannot devour me because my Shepherd guards, protects. He sees the path ahead. He might not show me the final destination... because He wants to enjoy the journey with me. He wants me to rest in "green pastures" and soak up the "quiet waters"... "He guides me along the right paths for his name's sake." He and I will go through valleys - dark ones where death surrounds us - but He won't lose me in there. I will "fear no evil" when I am with Him. Because everything about Him - like His rod and His staff, which are sometimes all I can see when His face is turned - gives me great comfort. He anoints me and He blesses me with an "overflowing cup." - Krissi (from Psalm 23)

God's got sweet sweet sweet plans for your life but He's not going to make you follow him.  If He did, it wouldn't be real love; it would be slavery.  But why would you want to rebel from the only one that truly has your best interest in His mind and his heart? 

We can not win this fight inside out rebel hearts so raise the white flag and surrender. Love has already won.