The Journey to Joy

I am genuinely happy.  

Life is not perfect and I'm far from where I thought I would be, but my joyfulness often bubbles out uncontrollably. It's hard to contain.

But it hasn't always been that way. 

There is no secret recipe or a one time fix to suddenly be happy.  The path to joy will likely be different for everyone, but here's my journey.

A few years ago, I found myself in yet another season of constant sadness.  I'd been through the wringer, but even when life was going along beautiful,  I couldn't shake the feeling of worthlessness and being chronically sad.  I was overwhelmed with a heaviness that took it's toll on me, which in turn encouraged me to treat people poorly...... or just pretend that everything was okay.  Both responses made it hard for people to want to be around me.  My depression led to loneliness, which made me more sad, which made me more lonely and more sad.  It was a vicious cycle.

When I got to college, I reached my breaking point; I decided to see the doctor about it.  After being diagnosed with depression and PTSD, I made the decision not to take any medication (which may not be the best choice for everyone) but also not to stay where I was.  I had to make a change.

For me, depression had become an addiction.  I wallowed in it even when I felt good because it was familiar and yet, I wouldn't admit that it had a grip on my life. I was unwilling to give up the familiarity to find joy.

In John 5, Jesus shows up at the pool of Bethesda  (If you haven't read it, check it out!), and says to a man who has been ill for decades, "Do you want to be healed?" (v. 6)

When I decided that I wanted something else, I caught a glimpse of what God had been doing in my heart.  It was not in his design for me to be engulfed in sadness.

The Lord your God is in your midst,

    a mighty one who will save;

he will rejoice over you with gladness;

    he will quiet you by his love;

he will exult over you with loud singing.

-Zephaniah 3:17

From there, I started taking steps to walk in freedom.

***** Prayer Time

Talking to Daddy God is now one of my favorite things to do everyday because;
-He's doesn't have "store hours" so I can call Him any time
-He understands me even when I can't find the words (Psalm 139:4)
-It lets me give someone else my worries and hurts
-It builds our relationship

My prayer time has changed pretty drastically.  It's not boxed in to a few minutes a day when I have the right words and can close my eyes without getting distracted.  It's the time when I'm riding the bike at the gym, while I'm walking around campus, at 5 am prayer meetings, when I see something beautiful, when I see someone hurting, when I'm mad/sad/happy/thankful/bored/feeling any emotion, in corporate/solitary settings, etc.  Prayer time has become any moment that I want to talk to my Daddy God.

*****Research

I've been listening to and speaking lies into my own life, so I had a lot of unlearning to do.  I started reading my bible and listening to sermons to find out the truth.  I'm learning who I am, my identity in Christ, and who God is, both of which will rock your life.  You'll start seeing yourself and others the way that God sees them which in turn changes interactions and hearts.

*****Turn Out (Isaiah 58:10)

On my bad days, I've found that serving others is a great way to put things back into perspective.  My depression caused me to turn in and sulk about what was going on with me, me, me, me, me.  Serving on the other hand, brought the big picture back into sight and gave me a short term purpose.

But just look at Jesus's life.  His life was about serving and working for others.  The bible instructs us to serve.  Don't believe me? Check out these verses.

*****Thankfulness

Be thankful always.....

-Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you. (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18)

-Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the will of the Lord is.  And do not get drunk with wine, for that is debauchery, but be filled with the Spirit, addressing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody to the Lord with your heart, giving thanks always and for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ. (Ephesians 5:17-21)

-Oh give thanks to the Lord; call upon his name;
    make known his deeds among the peoples!
² Sing to him, sing praises to him;
    tell of all his wondrous works!
³ Glory in his holy name;
    let the hearts of those who seek the Lord rejoice!
⁴ Seek the Lord and his strength;
    seek his presence continually!
⁵ Remember the wondrous works that he has done,
    his miracles, and the judgments he uttered,
⁶ O offspring of Abraham, his servant,
    children of Jacob, his chosen ones! (Psalm 105:1-6)

Sometimes I need to be reminded that although there's crap going on around me, it's not all bad.  While I'd love to take credit for this idea, it's not a new one.  In the movie Pollyanna, the young girl teaches people to plays The Glad Game.  In White Christmas, Bing Crosby sings about counting his blessings. There's something heart changing about seeing the good.  When I'm having a bad day, I'll have a friend hold me accountable for being thankful by sending them texts all day about what I'm thankful for.

*****Focus

You have to focus on the right things.

⁴ Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! ⁵ Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. ⁶ Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. ⁷ And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

⁸ Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. - Philippians 4:4-8

*****Community

When a person is depressed, it's really dangerous for them to be alone.  Even when I don't feel like being around people, I try not to let myself retreat to be by myself for very long.  Over the past few years, I've put in the effort to build friendships because I know that we're not supposed to be alone (John 15, Ecclesiastes 4, Galatians 6:2, etc.)  I now have friends who recognize when I'm struggling and will call me out on it.  I talk to my family and have stopped church hopping so I can have a church family.  I'm in a small group, and put out effort to meet with people regularly.  I also don't live by myself because I don't want to allow myself the opportunity to slip back into my own little world.

Depression is hard whether it's a chronic pattern that just won't go away or a deep sadness that just showed up because of a recent event.  Being joyful doesn't always happen over night, but don't loose hope; Joy is possible.  Nothing can ever separate us from God (Romans 8).

Always remember you are deeply loved, never alone and always treasured.  Everything here is temporary. 

DO.NOT.GIVE.UP.

May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, 

so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope. 

- Romans 15:13

In Love,

Lizarbug <3